My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
