Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
