You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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