we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
