I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
