I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
