We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize