im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize