You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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