All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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