I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
