If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
