He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
