these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
