I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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