2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
not ubering you a puppy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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