Will you blow on my dice?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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