I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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