just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
