My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
