pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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