I'm gonna have a badass scar
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
