I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
