we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
