SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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