when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
