Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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