He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize