you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
