ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
