My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
