Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
vagina is talking i cant
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
