Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
