Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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