all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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