shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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