did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
