I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
