just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
