I threw up into my coffee this morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
