My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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