I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
