Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize