i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
