someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize