He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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