yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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