I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
