I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
