lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
