yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
