Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Semen is not good for contacts.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
