At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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