And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize