i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
