i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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