I am in a vortex of obligation.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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