we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
