even my farts smell like vagina
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
