my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
