So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
