We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize