I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
