nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize